Archive for March, 2008

 Spin doctors are a new breed of language techs. We seem to have an ever increasing need for this specialty by the country’s public speakers and politicians. With an ever larger national scandal sheet to consume the news media it is no wonder. I don’t have any statistics that directly refer to this subject. However, I have been watching the news for over half a century and can not recall ever seeing so many public figures, like celebrities and politicans, getting their noses rubbed in dirt of their own making.I rather doubt that morals in general or personal integrity, in particular, are much different today than they were in the days of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The fact that those gentlemen had mistresses (in fact, quite a few and many “of color”) is common knowledge today. Children which resulted from those relationships were no cause for concern to the politicians, and certainly no public outcry was ever raised in the media of the time. Cocaine was legal, pot unheard of, except by native Americans, and drinking the national pastime, so again no whisper of scandal ever appeared to blemish the saintly reputations of the leaders of our country back then.

Our European neighbors are apparently either more sophisticated, less immature, more worldly, or more personally engaged in affairs of the kind that titillate the viewers in this country. At any rate, conduct of the kind dominating the news here scarcely rates a mention in the tabloids abroad. The President of France is currently receiving congratulations by his fellow countrymen because his wife is appearing in public in the nude! Now there is an idea whose time has come. But on with our story.

I don’t know if this is true, but it’s funny, typical “Washington speak”, and proves that a good PR machine is priceless.

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton’s great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.   The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows.   On the back of the picture is this inscription: “Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times.  Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.”   Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary’s staff of professional spin doctors sent back the following biographical sketch:

“Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory.  His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.  Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.  In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency.  In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

 And THAT is how it’s done.

          I guess if you can call 4000 American deaths and $1 trillion invested in the worst catastrophe in American history, with the exception of the Vietnam conflict, progress, I guess we are winning.

          I guess if you consider sacrificing the American economy and postponing all social programs, like education, Social Security reform, and healthcare progress, you could say we are winning.

          I guess if you consider a tripling of the gas and oil prices over the past seven years by waging a war over oil in the Middle East progress, we are gaining on it.

          And I guess if you consider doubling the national debt and causing the steepest decline in the dollar against other major currencies in the world a victory, we have cause for celebration.

          Have we completely lost our minds?

I never used to notice what color tie the people who were speaking to me wore. One thing I do remember is that speakers never wore red ties. I grew up in a generation when subdued was the order of the day and was synonymous with moderation and sanity.

One day, King George, the president, wore a red tie. Red was never to be used in the fraternity I joined. It was related to the red capes used to taunt bulls during the ritual slaughter of the bulls in Mexico. Waving a red color was used to incite the rage of the bull and to raise the temperature of the audience to a feverish degree.

Red was never worn by politicians, whose last ambition was to raise the temperature of the voting public. But all of a sudden, everyone is wearing red ties. It doesn’t seem to matter what side of the fence they are on. They are now even popular with members of the press.

I guess the only difference between the press and the politicians is what breed of sheep they are.

           Americans are discouraged.  Polls show an overwhelming disapproval rating for our elected officials and the reason is obvious.  They consistently ignore the will of the people who elect them.  80 percent of those polled want a quick end to the wars which bleed our treasury dry and result in the slaughter and maiming of thousands of our young. After all, we aren’t that gullible or stupid are we? I mean, with all the power of the CIA, the NSA, and the Pentagon, with all the surveillance satellites and the billions in the budget, does anyone seriously believe we can’t find and eliminate a cave dwelling ferret like Osama bin Laden? It is an insult to everyone in this country to expect us to believe a small task force of the best trained military elite, with the best technology in the world, can’t find and eliminate a few hundred terrorists.

          So the result is to be expected.  People who line up for days for the opportunity to buy the latest Harry Potter novel won’t cross the street to shake the hand of a politician.  Some might suggest a reason is our people no longer respond to words or ideas, but only to movies or books or music.  I think the reason is because, after several decades of having our noses rubbed in one scandal after another, by the nation’s leaders, we are afraid the corruption might rub off on us; or the stupidity.  After all, anyone with half a brain would realize we can’t insult the 1000 year old traditions of a seriously religious region and expect them to appreciate us; or that after slaughtering hundreds of thousands of their friends and family they will eventually embrace us and our ways.

And so while there is a claim for change, can we really expect any?  We certainly won’t if a Bush clone gets elected. A close reading of the web pages of the Democratic primary leaders doesn’t really promise any sudden moves either.  About the best we can hope for is only four more years of war and only another trillion dollars wasted.  It is unfortunately too much to expect a politician to say what he means and does what he says.

          Someone said it earlier.  Yuck, just yuck.