Archive for February, 2008

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever  wonder about those people who say they are
giving more than 100%?
We have  all been to those meetings where someone
wants you to give 110%.
How  about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help
you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20  21
22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+ 20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there,  its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Waiting outside in a long line of faces for your chance to see a piece of history in the making. Inside, the screaming, the tears, the cheering, and even the occasional fainting. Thirty years ago I would have thought of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, maybe a Billy Graham revival. Today it’s a Barrack Obama rally. There’s a new Messiah in town. In an incredibly short amount of time, amidst freezing temperatures, rain or shine, he has become the mailman of hope for a new generation. He is an attractive, eloquent man with a vision. Sound familiar?

As a lifelong “registered” Republican, I have to admit my attention has been gotten. Now the hard part – wading through the political mire to a clear and sound judgement call on the November shore. Make no mistake, both sides offer the same challenge. Do I go with the tried and hardened workhorse that has brought us to our current state, or is it time for a political tsunami to hit Washington? The unfortunate truth is that at this stage of the game, no one man is going to change the course of a river that is so long and runs so deep, which brings to bear my next quandry.

Too many fingers in the old pie – old pie being the McCain camp. A lifetime of service in the Washington politico. Tough to unshake all those hands. I will give credit where credit’s due though. He brings new meaning to blindsiding your opponent. In the last two weeks he has also reminded us that cronyism is alive and well. Endorsements galore from the B-12 network.

So, an old familiar musty wind, or a chance for a new and vibrant future. The choice is not just mine.

GET INVOLVED – Stay Informed

A  modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it up and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There’s a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

‘Well, cowboy,’ says the genie. ‘You know how I work….You have three wishes.’

‘I’m not falling for this.’ said the cowboy… ‘I’m not going to trust a FEMA genie.’

‘What do you have to lose? You’ve got no transportation, and it looks like you’re a goner anyway!’

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. ‘OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.’

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

‘OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish.’

‘My second wish is that I become rich beyond my wildest dreams.’

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

‘OK , cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!’

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says…’I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.’

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story:
If the government offers you anything, there’s going to be a string attached.

 I don’t know if this is true, but it’s funny, typical “Washington speak”, and proves that a good PR machine is priceless. Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton’s great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription:

“Remus Rodham; horse  thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times.  Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.” 

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary’s staff of professional spin doctors sent back the following biographical sketch:

“Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory.  His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.  Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.  In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency.  In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

And THAT is how it’s done. 

             In one of the great movies of the last century, Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise gave us a glimpse of the state of mind of the military in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. The tour de force is called “A Few Good Men”.  I mention this movie only to repeat one of the greatest lines in the movie, shouted by Jack Nicholson’s character as he was backed into a corner on the witness stand.  He shouted, and I quote, “You can’t handle the truth!” , referring to the American public.  And in another award winner, Bart Simpsons’ writers noted, “It takes two to lie.  One to do the lying and the other to do the listening”.  Unfortunately, these two statements are spelling doom for the economic state of our nation. The American public is doing the listening, and the leaders of our nation are doing the misleading. If we don’t know the truth, we certainly can’t be expected to handle it.

           American’s government debt has crossed the 9 trillion dollar mark this year.  This roughly equates to 30,000 dollars for every man, woman, and child in this country. If you are a family of 5, your family’s share of this debt is 150,000 dollars.  Are you feeling a little poorer? Neither is anyone else, and that is a huge portion of our problem.  In 31 of the last 35 years the government has operated in the red.  For some reason, we all feel that the government’s lack of financial responsibility has nothing to do with us individually. Just wait until our social security and Medicare programs are cut back drastically and I guarantee you will feel the effects of ridiculous financial policies.

             This year GW Bush proposes pushing the deficit up by an additional 400 billion dollars.  The budget he proposes is over 3 trillion dollars and the deficit he proposes does not include the cost of the of the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. Nor does it accurately reflect the loss of revenue which is certainly forthcoming from a rapidly faltering economy. These items alone could easily add another 200 billion dollars to the deficit.  Before we see another balanced budget we will go over the 10 trillion dollar mark. If GW has his way, we will cross the 10 trillion dollar deficit level in another two years. Further, we get these figures from the office of under estimators. We have taken a flight from reason in this country.  When our president can propose adding 400 billion to a 9 trillion dollar deficit, and in the same sentence call this a “good” budget, he has joined Alice in Wonderland. The Mad Hatter is at the helm! The public must be held partly responsible for the cataclysmic state of the nation’s economic affairs.  The president can only propose a budget; the Congress must approve it, and between these two branches of government it is hard to say who wears the bigger dunce cap. But we elect them all.

            Remember the crisis the government faced as we approached the end of the last century.  Some predicted the end of the world as we know it, because the computers which run everything didn’t have the year 2000 available to them.  Well guess what? We are there again.  Government computers don’t have enough room for 10 trillion dollars of red ink.  That requires room for 14 digits.  No one ever expected us to need more than 13 digits of room in the dollar column to run the government.  The plus side to the equation is that the thousands of pages of line items will be compressed to just a few pages.  That’s right.  The entire projected revenue of the United States government will barely cover just three line items; social security, Medicare, and interest on the national debt.  By 2040 there will be no money for any other government programs or expenses.

           As the largest group of voters this nation has ever seen, the baby boomers must accept a large portion of responsibility for this travesty.  If we continue to elect, through ignorance (by this I don’t mean stupid…we are not stupid, just uninformed) or apathy, a group of people who put their own agendas above those of the nation, we will have in the not-too-distant future a dollar worth less than a peso.

            Here is an example of what I mean by an ignorant electorate.  On Bill Moyer’s Journal, a brilliant author, Susan Jacoby, astounded me, and I hope everyone in this country, with the following results from a recent Roper poll about geography.  Young people between the ages of 18 and 25 were shown a map of the world and asked to locate four countries; Iraq, Iran, Israel, and Saudi Arabia.  This map, by the way, had the initials of every country printed within each country.  Only 23% of college graduates and 6% of high school graduates were able to correctly identify these countries. This area of the world is one of the most explosive on the planet, and is consuming a tremendous amount of our nation’s resources. The real shameful part of this poll is that these graduates didn’t even know where the Middle East is in the world, or presumably they would have been able to identify the countries by their initials.

            It is hard to suggest a course of action to correct these crippling problems.  While YouTube, Facebook, Myspace and the latest video games consume our youths’ time and attention, a monster of biblical proportions is building strength just outside the monitor screen.  Our country is only a small portion of the world population.  Even as we protect our shores from a military invasion, the financial invasion of our country continues unabated.  The economic overthrow of our way of life is just around the corner.  Hopefully our children and voters will see this threat in time and elect officials up to the challenge.  “The good people in this country are at their best when things are at their worst” is another great movie line by Jeff Bridges in the movie Starman.  I hope the writers were correct.