Archive for January, 2008

 Winner in perpetuity:

    For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself andsuccessfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico where she purchased thecoffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it betweenher knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That’s right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

7TH PLACE:

     Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE:

     Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps. Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

5TH PLACE:

     Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of  anguish. Keep scratching. There are more…

4TH PLACE:

     Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle – even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because  williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun. Grrrrr … Scratch, scratch.

3RD PLACE:

     Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions? Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there;  There are only two more Stella’s to go…

2ND PLACE:

     Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000… oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

1ST PLACE: (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)

     This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32- foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control  at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor  home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just incase Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

      No, this is not about the popular TV series by the same name. Nor is it about the war in Iraq. This lens is about an area the size of Massachusetts which spreads across the Gulf Of Mexico (our country’s gulf coast) from Texas to Florida. This area, dubbed “The Dead Zone” by biologists, is fed from the mighty Mississippi River system which drains the entire midsection of the country. From border to border and from the Rockies to the Appalachian Mountains ten states drain into the Mississippi River. This area is the country’s bread belt and corn is the name of the game.
 
     However, there is a giant defugalty lurking here. Corn is also feeding ever larger biofuel refineries as well our stomachs and between the two the price for corn has been driven upwards of 10$/bushel. Here is the bad part. Corn needs lots of nitrogen and phosphorous to produce bumper crops, so the farmers are pouring these chemicals on, over ever larger numbers of acres. And these chemicals are leaking into, eventually, the Mississippi, and finally, the gulf coast waters. This industrial strength river of nitrogen and phosphorous is the ideal medium for the unchecked and explosive growth of an algae and bacterial bloom. A bloom so intense it draws all the oxygen out of the water. All the fish populations and marine life which used to call these warm waters home have been forced to relocate to be able to breathe.

     Until the price of corn goes down it will never be a viable alternative energy resource. The price will not come down unless the production goes way up. If production goes way up, the chemical contamination of our rivers goes up and the gulf coast war goes into second gear. It seems this war on algae is doomed to failure before it even gets proper media exposure. Government wars, like the war on poverty, or the war on drugs, or the war in Iraq seem to be doomed to fail at every turn, but we still waste precious and monstrous amounts of our collective resources on them. Seems to me it is time the government gives up the waging of hopeless wars and the funding of bottomless pits and resumes doing what it does well. Remind me, what is that exactly?
   
     I believe there may be a biological and economical use for the huge algae bloom. It is close to shore, and would appear to be as nourishing as say, for cows, corn silage or baled hay. I am looking into possible solutions (algae as biofuel?) and would appreciate any input from expert to novice. The solution to both increasing corn yields and decreasing fertilizer use could also involve some form of recycling. The runoff does seem to be ideal if it could be recirculated throughout the field irrigation system. Please forward any thoughts you may have on the subject. 

Silver Spoon vs. Mentoring

   Suppose you were a youngster just graduating from high school and you had a choice between money or advice for your graduation present; which would you choose? Most young people would take the money. How’s about we take a closer look at what money without good mentoring usually results in. Lottery winners or benefactors of an inheritance, regardless of size, on average hold on to their windfall for less than two years. Theoretically, they should have enough for the rest of their lifetime, and for the generations that follow. What becomes of all that money without the advice necessary to utilize it? It gets spent instead of invested, that’s what.

   The truth is most people have no experience managing money. They fall victim to shysters or follow their heart straight into disaster. Family and friends become their first lines of default. Everyone has needs. It is damn hard to say no, especially when it is all you have heard during your own lifetime. Spoiling people may very well be a tragic flaw intrinsic to good and well meaning people everywhere. Once a winner has run the immediate gamut of close friends and relatives, and assuming they still have something left, they are subsequently overwhelmed with opportunities from A to Z. Without the experience to deal with the next wave of prospectors inevitably lining up, most people throw up their hands and just “trust” someone. Again, that seldom has a good ending. Easy come, easy go as the old sage says.

   Now let’s look at someone who, at first glance, seems less fortunate. This person has never won anything in his life. The only path open to this person appears to be a life of hard work and struggle. However, this person has a friend or relative wise in the ways of the world. As this person grows, he is faced with the myriad of challenges we all face in life. This person doesn’t have the option to throw money at his problems; he must work his way through them. He has one ace in his corner however. He knows someone who has been through the gamut before. As the challenges line up before him in life he has backup. He can count on good advice from a trustworthy source. As for me, a mentor is presumably a good or best friend so the two rules for mentoring in life were the following:

As a mentor of mine, never lie to me, and,

As a mentor of mine, if I am ever in need of it, promise to give me your best advice or none at all.

   These may seem banal, or obvious beyond belief, but most people, if lucky, can count on one hand the number of people they meet in life who could measure up to these simple tests. For example, I have had friends who, I am quite certain, would have taken a bullet for me. However, I couldn’t trust them with my wife or girlfriend. I have had friends I could count on with women, but I wouldn’t dare trust them with my money. And then there is the friend who sees an opportunity to advance his interests by a slight misdirection in advice to me. The old do this, or don’t do that type of advice which subtly redirects my prospects south while his go north. It is human nature. We simply can’t get over our own interests, which fact tends to add bias to our well meaning advice.

   So, in conclusion, if I were I given the choice between money or a good mentor I would choose the mentor. With a good and unbiased advisor all things are possible; with one small caveat. First give me the good sense to recognize good advice, and the strength to follow it. Good advice coupled with good intentions still adds up to zero without follow-thru.

Bob Parmelee                 Parmsplace

Save Money On Energy Bills

Are you concerned about the upcoming large increase in your electric or oil bill? If so, here is a great equalizer. One of the largest components of your annual utility bill is the cost of heating your water. Most people leave their water heaters set whatever the plumber or manufacture recommends, and this is usually in the 140 to 150 degree range. However, our body is uncomfortable with a temperature above 102 degrees, the temperature the typical hot tub is set at. Therefore every time we wash our hands or take a shower we are forced to add cold water to reduce the temperature to a tolerable level. This, my friends, is crazy. Reset your water heater thermostat to approximately 100 degrees and start saving up to 1/3 of your annual hot water bill immediately! When you step into the shower turn on the hot valve only. Stop paying to keep 52 gallons of water 40 degrees hotter than you ever need, 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. A family of five, even if they took long showers and did a load of laundry daily would use less than 2 hours of hot water per day. The other 22 hours of each day you are paying up to 50 % more to keep the water hotter than necessary!

Try it and I guarantee you will love it.

Boost Your Savings Account …Without Even Trying

Annual income aside, there’s not a person among us who wouldn’t welcome the idea of having more money in their savings account. This is the money we use on everything from yearly vacations to family presents. Come holiday time, wouldn’t it be nice to have an extra thousand or so dollars at your disposal? Here are a few ideas that can help to make that possible. The best part is you’ll hardly feel it!

Bring Your Lunch to Work – The average person spends when they buy their lunch yet only when they pack it themselves. That’s a potential savings of a week or textarea,040 dollars a year.
Durable over Disposable – Using products like Handi-Wipes (semi-disposable rags) as opposed to paper towels, and a rechargeable razor rather than the disposable kind, can save you up to 0 per year.
Hold an Annual Yard Sale – You should have no problem making at least a hundred bucks. Besides, you’ll get rid of all that household clutter in the process. Whatever you don’t sell can be donated to charity and used as a tax write-off.
Ask for Discounts – From buying airline tickets to paying a medical bill, always ask if there’s a discount to be had. The worst that can happen is you’ll be told no.
Get a Library Card – As opposed to buying a book for , or instead of renting a DVD for , get it for free. If you average 3 movie rentals a month, you’ll save yourself over 0 a year.
Watch Those Utilities – Changing over to energy saving light bulbs and low flow showerheads is a great start. Also, most utility companies offer a home audit you can complete online. If not, go to http://hes.lbl.gov for a virtual inspection of your home. You may be surprised to learn how much energy (and money) you could be saving.

Lost Toolbars

Are you one of the many who have a toolbar installed on your computer along with your Web browser? For example, along with my Internet Explorer browser, I always use the Google toolbar. Maybe you do the same or perhaps you use another toolbar, such as the versions from Yahoo! or AOL. Either way, if you’re like me, you probably use those toolbars on a very regular basis, right? So, what if you were to lose it? What would you do? Well, let’s check out some of your options!

First, I hope you would work on getting it back! I know my Google toolbar has disappeared before, but luckily, I knew just how to get it back up and running. Do you want in on my little secret too? If you ever lose one of your toolbars, all you have to do (in Internet Explorer) is go to View, Toolbars and make sure the one you want to use is check marked. You can do the exact same thing in Firefox, if that happens to be the browser you use. Once your toolbar of choice is selected, it will pop right back up for you.

Now, when it comes back, it might look a little different than you remember it being. If that happens, don’t worry yourself too much. With the Google toolbar, just look for the Settings link and click on that. From there, you can go through everything and reset it back to the way you had it before. With the Yahoo! toolbar, look for the big red Yahoo! icon (it’s a Y with an exclamation point after it), right click on it and choose Change Toolbar Layout or whatever you’d like to do. You can do the same for any other toolbars you may use. When you’re all finished, you’ll have your toolbar back and as a bonus, you’ll know how to find it in case you ever lose it again. Oh yeah!